We try to do everything together as a family, but sometimes the kiddos and I find ourselves at Mass without my husband. There are a few tips and tricks we’ve tried over the years that have helped us make it to the end of Mass with minimal tears. Pointing to myself here! This is how I take 6 kids to Mass alone!
A successful trip to Mass where everyone can be present for the Sacrament requires a balance of firm boundaries and low expectations. Some days we are on a roll! Other days we run back in the house searching for veils, shoes, and water.
1. Set clear expectations with the kiddos.
Over the years, I have found that setting the tone of our outing as we’re leaving the house is vitally important. My older kiddos know that dad is at work and unable to join, so it’s all hands on deck for bathroom trips and keeping everyone in the pew. The older kids pair up with the younger kids, just like I did growing up when I went to Catholic school. Realistically, my two toddler boys last 10 minutes before they need to move their bodies, so we step out when needed for laps. Having my older kids is a blessing to help with the toddlers, but this wasn’t always the case. Keep reading for more…
2. Prepare the day before!
This may sound self-explanatory, but set yourself up for success the night before. This will lessen the burden of rushing out the door with a missing shoe and keeps tempers low. I like to put clothes for our youngest three in front of the fire place, shoes and all. Everyone knows where they are located and can help get the little ones dressed. My older kiddos set out their clothes in their rooms.
I pack the diaper bag, grab the Missals, and make sure a water bottle is clean and ready to be filled in the morning. We have a small stash of car snacks that they can have after Mass if someone is starving and can’t make it home. We keep chapel veils and a stroller in the car. I’ve tried to plan for all contingencies with a car bag of backup clothes, diapers, wipes, garbage bags, and more. I’d rather be prepared than not.
I asked God for patience this year. We all know that means I’m now presented with more opportunities to practice the virtue. Without fail, something that would typically make me panic will happen and I will be given just that opportunity. What better opportunity than taking 6 kids to Mass alone!
3. Pray the rosary on the way to Mass!
My family knows when we get in the car, it’s time to pray a rosary. It doesn’t matter if my husband is in the vehicle with us or not, this is our normal routine when we leave the house. We can start the rosary when we pull out of the driveway and finish our novenas by the time we park the tank at Mass. (Yes, we call our SUV the tank. It needs to be resilient and large with this crew.) We will rotate who gets to lead the decade and each kid looks forward to their turn. It’s truly a win win!
Be consistent with your routine before Mass, especially if your spouse is not joining. This will help your kids understand what is happening. Any parent of small children know kids thrive on schedules. If we’re traveling to a different Mass because our Latin Mass isn’t scheduled, we will listen to music also. I just found Chants of Deliverance by Floriani on iTunes. The entire album is definitely on repeat in our home.
Check our our latest wooden rosary designs here!
4. Bring Prayer Books!
We don’t typically allow our young children to play during Mass. I say this because we used to let them bring their favorite toys and it was a disaster. Not only was it very disruptive, but we realized we were teaching our kiddos to not be present during Mass. I’ve heard “I’m bored” more times than I can count, but this presents a wonderful opportunity to remind your kiddos about the sacrifice of the Mass and what’s truly happening on the altar. What we do allow are prayer books and Missals.
Not allowing the kids to bring toys took time and purging of bad habits, but it has paid off tremendously in the long run. You’ll notice a theme with our family if you follow along. We don’t shy away from hard things. Call it stubbornness, but once I get a prompting from the Holy Spirit, it’s full steam ahead. This was not something we were comfortable wavering on ever again.
5. Make a friend!
You don’t need to feel alone during Mass. Make a friend and have backup for those emergency bathroom breaks or newborn blow outs. If you’re an introverted extrovert (hello self), ask the nicest grandma you can find sitting near you to help if you have an absolute emergency.
Back when my preteens were toddlers, they would not sit still for an entire hour. Shocking, I know. I would have the baby in a carrier and one had on each little one. Sitting was not an option even being secluded in the dreaded “cry room.” The constant distractions and intrusive thoughts of a toddler sprinting to the alter made me question every decision I’d ever made. Anyone else have that reoccurring nightmare?
Each time I think we couldn’t be more disruptive, someone comes to me at the end of Mass and tells me what a beautiful family I have. That they love listening to the little ones and to keep coming back. Well played, Lord. Well played.
6. Go to the park after!
If your kids are anything like mine, they will remember the hour and minute you mention “park” to them, even though they have a yard and play structure at home. Want to motivate them to help you get out the door with all clothing and shoes? Pack a picnic and make it a day. What better way to lift everyone’s spirits when your spouse is unable to join!
If you live in a larger area, go to the zoo or your favorite museum. Sit by a creek and let the kids run through the water. Often we just come home and go for a nature walk. The kids get to carry home rocks and seeds and everyone gets to stretch their legs.
7. It gets easier taking 6 kids to Mass alone!
If you’re shaking your head wondering how it could possibly get easier, I promise it does. Keep taking your kiddos to Jesus. Keep bringing them to the Mass. They will get older and sit still. They will see you pray the rosary kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament and want to be just like you. Soon they will help remind each other to genuflect and it’s a beautiful sight. If someone would have told me 10 years ago that I would regularly be taking 6 kids to Mass alone, I would have probably passed out.
One day we will have fully grown children with babies of their own. That day I’ll look forward to passing on the knowledge that helped us get to where we are today… with the added benefit of attending Mass with my grandchildren.
Pray, train, repeat!
Kirsten
Rosaries from our workshop!
Wooden Rosaries designed by my Husband
Our favorite books from TAN!
Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus: An Introductory Latin Missal for Children
Check out our first post here!
Leave a Reply